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me on my wedding day:  you still like me right
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hhanjii:

gridmark:

so a guy gave his friend 10 puns hoping that one of them would make him laugh. sadly, no pun in ten did.

goodbye

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bewbin:

thefinestlad:

bewbin:

I just slept for 15 hours what I miss?

This dick

oh thank god i thought i missed something big 

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Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships.
So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.

— (via bl-ossomed)
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I already said too much. I already shared too much, and I want all my secrets back. I hate getting close to people these days, I always regret sharing too much, caring too much, doing too much, feeling too much.

— Unknown   (via corazonvolatil)
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thrashturbate:

cynical-bee:

thrashturbate:

I’ll bet you’d look adorable grasping at the sheets on my bed

no matter how many times u compliment me im not making ur bed

this has to be one of the best responses I’ve gotten to this text post

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hurricane-emily:

jimgaffigan:

Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done.

maybe

just maybe

women do some things for themselves and not just for men

what a concept

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stability:

theperksofbeingbeyonce:

stability:

Running seems like a great idea until you actually start running

Sex seems like a fun idea until you’re bent over a bar stool in the back of a club you’re too young for about to be plowed by a tall dark man named Mike

i feel as though we’ve had different experiences

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veganpoopxvx:

dingdongno:

and it’s amazing

image

but wait there’s moreimage

omg and then image

from (x)

Yes

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